I nearly died earlier this morning when driving home. I was falling asleep on the wheel & was losing consciousness every few minutes. 3 times I was driving off the road, only to have the bumpy road wake myself up. The scariest part was when I opened my eyes I was driving into a large Publix truck, as if my car was from one of those racing movies where a sports car drives under a giant truck, except for my car if I did not swirl back to my left...there wouldn't been a very, very nasty accident. I hate driving long places. After I parked my car on the driveway I turned off the car and went straight to sleep.
Today I will take my sister out to go watch Resident Evil, do chores, & study. It's Sunday, need to start changing gears for school tomorrow.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Weakness
I'm in phase 2 of a cold; can't breathe/runny nose - the AC upstairs stopped working again, technician said outside part is too old and needs to be replaced; another $2000+. I'm sitting in front of my desktop sweating bullets down my face; although I tried to tolerate the heat which is at 94 degrees upstairs, I was unable to. I studied the entire day today downstairs. The walkway was filled with my unsorted clothes, and my room was un-walkable with the way it was; so I was cleaning a bit. I made room to walk, but overall my room is still a complete mess. (Mainly due to the clutter from a year worth of several magazine subscriptions, junk I piled into a corner that I will sell on Ebay perhaps one day, and my 5 laundry baskets.
Sick & weak, the medicine mother gave me she brought back from China, doesn't seem to be working.
Sick & weak, the medicine mother gave me she brought back from China, doesn't seem to be working.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Everything happens for a reason...or does it?
After losing everything @ the Hard Rock Casino last night I stumbled outside of the building through an emergency exit. It was around 1am, and was very dark. I had no idea where I was for I was unfamiliar w/ the area. I walked around the South Parking lot and came across a bus station. Earlier that day my friend left early to have dinner w/ his lady while I stayed to gamble some more. I could not help but to share my losses with a man sitting in the corner of the dark bus station's beach area. He told me he had lost more than $5000, when asked did he kept tract of how much he lost he replied: "hell no! I would be so sick if I were to keep tract! But~ everything happens for a reason..." That one sentence sank heavily down my heart; I thought to myself, here I am, 1am on a Friday, losing my entire bankroll w/ 4$ in my wallet. Was waiting for friend to pick me up~ just what the hell am I doing. I could have do so much more w/ my time instead of getting demolished by the regulars AND A FUCKING CHINESE KID THE SAME AGE AS ME WHO GOES TO USF AND APPARENTLY HAS BEEN PLAYING POKER FOR 3+ MORE YEARS THAN ME WHO WAS $500+ up. I guess experience does matter, but that doesn't matter because I've decided to quit poker. I do not want the same feeling I felt last night EVER again. If a person lost a nickle they wouldn't feel so bad; I tell myself in the future I want to be in a situation where I wouldn't be fazed by my lost of...a price of an Alien Laptop. I hate losing, I've gotten better, but losing when it comes to money~ I don't think anyone in this world likes that. Changes must be made, & it starts...now.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Another week~
>Time just flies, I told myself I'd keep this blog updated but geez, a whole week rolled over.
- My mother has been better in the past week. Now that I have a mindset where I just do what my mother tells me to do regardless of whether its in my interests or not, I do it quickly. My mother loves to take opportunities to chat w/ me when I'm eating at the kitchen table. So when she starts, I just wolf down whatever I'm eating regardless whether its super hot just from the pot or not microwaved yet, and run into my room, close my doors and lock it. She went away to Jacksonville over the weekend for a church conference. A nice peaceful weekend for me indeed.
- I have over a year worth of magazine subscriptions from 7 different magazine names. I am now dedicating time from each day to finish at least 3 magazines a day. What I do is I have my laptop open w/ Word open and I document anything that I find interesting or worthy to keep for later access. I don't want to "skim" over the magazines. We forget so often, unless we take the time to re-read something to the point we just memorize it; even then we'd still forget. So I keep a log of all the information so later on I can re-read and go: "ohhh, back in 2009 it was so bad in Iceland people were unable to afford Big Macs leading to the closure of many of the Mc Donalds due to high import costs of cheese and other ingrediants resulting in a $7 Big Mac.) or "the U.S. gov. still makes the piece of garbage V-22 Osprey that each costs $110million dollars to make yet its highly unsafe, slow,as a giant duck in the sky for enemies, yet its still being made due to lobbyists for their own benefits."
-> One day, I will keep up with all the magazines I subscribe to! One day... I mean, realistically, if I read 3 magazines a day; they only come out once a month w/ the exception of "The Week," I should be able to catch up...
- I did not have to pick any hard classes this semester, yet I picked a ridiculously hard class called Fundamentals of Nutrition. I thought it would be a good challenge, a refresher for the anatomy & micro bio classes I finished semesters before. Another reason for choosing the class was to self discipline myself in focusing in studies. Unlike most people I hear who apparently study & be on Facebook at the same time, I go hardcore and study for hours & hours on. (Average 4hrs in a go when I'm in the zone.) I just don't see how I can be chatting with people & trying to memorize what hormones are released after a high calorie meal; & apply it to fat storage & sugar levels.
- I will be emptying out the fridge; as in, eating all the random things my mother bought which she has yet to touch. During the 11 months of living by myself the fridge was one of my priorities to keep organized and clean, w/out anything that I wouldn't need. Now its filled with random herbs (all over again) and things my mother just "saves." Before she comes back I'm going to eat everything and throw away the rest I deem "unworthy."
- Just got a phone call from my good friend Luis & Danny. Tonight, I will be making wings for dinner, then we head out to Channelside to celebrate Luis's 22nd birthday. He gets crazy sometimes, I hope he doesn't go overboard.....
- My mother has been better in the past week. Now that I have a mindset where I just do what my mother tells me to do regardless of whether its in my interests or not, I do it quickly. My mother loves to take opportunities to chat w/ me when I'm eating at the kitchen table. So when she starts, I just wolf down whatever I'm eating regardless whether its super hot just from the pot or not microwaved yet, and run into my room, close my doors and lock it. She went away to Jacksonville over the weekend for a church conference. A nice peaceful weekend for me indeed.
- I have over a year worth of magazine subscriptions from 7 different magazine names. I am now dedicating time from each day to finish at least 3 magazines a day. What I do is I have my laptop open w/ Word open and I document anything that I find interesting or worthy to keep for later access. I don't want to "skim" over the magazines. We forget so often, unless we take the time to re-read something to the point we just memorize it; even then we'd still forget. So I keep a log of all the information so later on I can re-read and go: "ohhh, back in 2009 it was so bad in Iceland people were unable to afford Big Macs leading to the closure of many of the Mc Donalds due to high import costs of cheese and other ingrediants resulting in a $7 Big Mac.) or "the U.S. gov. still makes the piece of garbage V-22 Osprey that each costs $110million dollars to make yet its highly unsafe, slow,as a giant duck in the sky for enemies, yet its still being made due to lobbyists for their own benefits."
-> One day, I will keep up with all the magazines I subscribe to! One day... I mean, realistically, if I read 3 magazines a day; they only come out once a month w/ the exception of "The Week," I should be able to catch up...
- I did not have to pick any hard classes this semester, yet I picked a ridiculously hard class called Fundamentals of Nutrition. I thought it would be a good challenge, a refresher for the anatomy & micro bio classes I finished semesters before. Another reason for choosing the class was to self discipline myself in focusing in studies. Unlike most people I hear who apparently study & be on Facebook at the same time, I go hardcore and study for hours & hours on. (Average 4hrs in a go when I'm in the zone.) I just don't see how I can be chatting with people & trying to memorize what hormones are released after a high calorie meal; & apply it to fat storage & sugar levels.
- I will be emptying out the fridge; as in, eating all the random things my mother bought which she has yet to touch. During the 11 months of living by myself the fridge was one of my priorities to keep organized and clean, w/out anything that I wouldn't need. Now its filled with random herbs (all over again) and things my mother just "saves." Before she comes back I'm going to eat everything and throw away the rest I deem "unworthy."
- Just got a phone call from my good friend Luis & Danny. Tonight, I will be making wings for dinner, then we head out to Channelside to celebrate Luis's 22nd birthday. He gets crazy sometimes, I hope he doesn't go overboard.....
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